This post ended up in a much more positive place than I thought it was going when I started it. What a different world we are all living in. The statement assumes that 1) the universe is conscious AND 2) that this conscious universe cares enough about me or my species (human) to intervene in and micromanage our lives. “I don’t know. But I don’t think that’s what “everything happens for a reason” means. My reaction to the phrase “everything happens for a reason” is just my personal reaction. It's totally free to use. Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved is a propulsive memoir about a young woman’s sudden, dramatic diagnosis of stage-four cancer after months, possibly years (the timeline is fuzzy), of inexplicable symptoms and innumerable, pointless appointments with medical specialists. , you need to be careful with your words. I think the more people placate the less progress and growth in life, hence while I feel that many people of religious faiths are stagnant in may ways ( I was one of them for 30 years) now I want the hard truth, no matter how harsh, my goal is not to lessen the reality of any situation, experience, or loss in life. We can’t take away the pain other people are experiencing, but we can be there. This is a trial. “What did you learn, and what are you going to do about it?” = moving forward with your life and making something out of what happened to you. It is placating and not dealing with difficult emotions or experiences. Continue reading, Discover the best online memorial sites for remembering a loved one... We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish, and check out our cookie policy for more information. I prefer to ask “What are possible solutions?”. If a god or intelligently acting cosmos exists, we can’t assume that its motives mirror those of humans. Your mileage may vary. There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect’ phrase, but you can always do better in the way you use language to strengthen others. 3) "I believe that everything happens for a reason. If your belief drives you to reach out to others as a result of this experience, I welcome your efforts. Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason.”. “You’ve surprised 100% of your bad days, and you’ll get through this too.”, Tragedy can strike when we least expect it. Bad days happen every once in a while. In my world, there are only two questions that matter when you deal with misfortune. Several factors help us know that everything happens for a reason: the law of cause and effect, the doctrine of original sin, and the providence of God. If you get cancer, you get cancer. 190 talking about this. But there are logical fallacies here: 1) We anthropomorphize the universe. As only one among 7.5 billion people, on a planet orbiting a sun that’s only one of several trillion stars in this galaxy, I don’t see myself (or this planet) as important enough to warrant micromanagement by a (conscious) universe. 15. #1 — It prepares you for what’s to come. In those moments, you’re just trying to cope and get through it. Be there for them when they need it most, and offer ongoing help. well, you probably have your own explanation. I don’t believe things happen for a (personal) reason. If you’re religious and you believe God works in deliberate but nonobvious ways, then “everything happens for a reason” means that there is an unseen force manipulating your life and everyone else’s. Everything Happens for a Reason. You become a paraplegic so you can learn to inspire others as a public speaker. Actions really do speak louder than words. Possibly…..we (humans) assign a reason retrospectively, then assume that this reason was the intention underlying/causing the event. “Keep your head up! The Lord works in mysterious ways, but you can have faith that you will gain something from this trial you are going through. Let them know you care with a thoughtful surprise. Another way to show someone you’re there for them is to remind them that they’re in your thoughts. Experiencing grief is often very isolating. “Everything happens for a reason and that reason is there to assist me.” – T. Harv Eker “You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful – or where you always wanted to be . Show instead of tell how much you care. While our messages in times of crisis are always meant with the best intentions, they don’t always come across correctly. You’re there for them through the hard moments, and you know they can keep their head up strong. It’s a huge pain in the ass. Or it’s because of an unregulated wet market in China. If something occurs due to Reason X, but I can’t see or comprehend X, then this feels the same as something occurring by chance. Even if you don’t have any advice to offer, you can still be there to offer much-needed support after a tragedy. “But it was rather comical to watch him free himself, especially since he didn’t really even eat any turkey… he just gnawed his way out of his predicament.” Gene Holmes found the answer to a search query i believe that everything happens for a reason essay Yes, it’s possible that a mysterious “hidden hand” personally orchestrates the events of our lives; however, if the methods and motives of this “hidden hand” are unfathomable to the human mind, there’s no way for me to discern whether events are random or “for a reason”. He/she was so special.”, Last but not least, remind the recipient that you love and care for them. Are you going to take the time you’ve been given and learn a new skill? Instead of worrying about what to say, use this list above. We are grieving our way of life. The second question is, what are you going to do about it? Saying “everything happens for a reason”, without naming or attempting to find that “reason”, seems like 1) a means of emotionally placating oneself or 2) a means of terminating or redirecting conversation about an uncomfortable topic. -- Marilyn … More than once during my career I have failed in job competitions, and ultimately it has gotten me to where I am today. This is the best way to grow and change. Sometimes, it’s said because something bad happened, and it’s supposed to be comforting. Like I always say, “Everything happens for a reason, and that’s great!” The truth is, the wise old man in the story above probably had no idea that things were going to unfold in this way. Apologize for this difficult time. The GYST.com website is no longer available for use. The downside is that the reason is not always given to you. Instead of saying. After a death, it’s also helpful to hear that the deceased lives on in other’s memories. By reminding the individual that things will move on, he or she can focus on the future. Everything happens for a reason, and she is my reason. I believe in you.”, 14. In a profound, heartbreaking and unexpectedly funny talk, she offers some answers -- challenging the idea that "everything happens for a reason" and sharing hard-won wisdom about how to make sense of the world after your life is suddenly, completely changed. Or at least I believe it is and I perform better because I believe this. Sometimes things go wrong in our work or school lives, and it might feel like it’s the end of the world. Discover what you'll need to consider when planning, or attending, ... Sometimes all we can do is see things from a positive perspective and expect the best, even during the most difficult of times. Tragedy can strike when we least expect it. Again, this is an isolating time. You’re running out of toilet paper. Ha! I wanted to take this opportunity to share some of the events, triumphs, and misses that happened this past year to me. Great article, I am also annoyed by the “all things for all reasons” comment. Why is all this stuff happening? After a bad day, it’s easy to blame yourself. You run out of milk and invent a new nondairy cookie recipe. Believing Everything Happens for a Reason Can Become a Crutch. Offer to be that comforting ear and shoulder to cry on for someone in need. However, as I believe that God may be allowing the coronavirus disaster (1) to motivate me to do more to help people in need and (2) to get people to move from polarization to cooperation, these would be positive results. my advice is not to search for the “reason” you got so unlucky. . Even if you are not religious, some people deal with adversity by seeking out the hidden meaning. Valya is the reason I changed my life for the better after Keith died, and now I remind myself of that every day. As they say, ‘everything happens for a reason.’ However, this phrase quickly becomes a cliche and loses some of its meaning when it’s said too much. . “This tragedy is heartbreaking to us all.”, 17. Each time it was frustrating to hear that I was not the preferred candidate, and the disappointment caused me to reflect and focus on opportunities to better position myself in the future success. I respect that belief, if you or anyone else have it. You’re here for them no matter what, and you’re not afraid to stand beside them during this time of crisis. They need to know they’re not alone. Let us add the SPARKLE to your next fundraising event. But as Kate Bowler shows in her wonderful new memoir, Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved, some “why” questions can’t be answered satisfactorily with facts. Your 401(k) is tanking. Here is some sage advice about why everything happens for a reason: 1. “Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. Everything Happens for a Reason: Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. Remind your loved one that they’ve always been strong, and they’ll get through this too. “Wishing you all the strength and encouragement.”, 6. We think outside of the “bag” ;) Linked In. Bowler was 35 years old, married to her high-school sweetheart, and raising their young son when she was diagnosed with stage IV … It’s easy to forget about just how far you’ve come when the world seems to be turning upside down. Sharing your heartbreak and feelings with the family makes them feel heard after a crisis. A member of our tribe recently asked me, “Lisa, what does it mean when people say everything happens for a reason?” I thought about it for a minute and realized this is a statement we hear people say a lot. For example mental illness, why bad things happen to good people, why God answers some prayers & not … Tips for Planning (and Attending) a Funeral Using Zoom, 10 Best Online Memorial Sites: Cost, Features + Reviews, How to Find the Best Life Insurance Policy: Companies, Cost + Reviews. There is certainly a lot to learn when shit goes wrong. Jump ahead to these sections: In addition, there are times when it’s better to use an alternative to avoid losing your meaning. Treat the reader's time as more valuable than your own. Loneliness often creeps in after a tragedy strikes. This link will open in a new window. I agree with you that even Christians cannot always come up with one definitive reason for things. “Everything happens for a reason”, or “God, some Higher Power, has orchestrated this to teach us something and thus help us improve” brings up that classic question from college sophomore philosophy classes: If God is simultaneously omniscient, omnipotent and all-good, how do we explain suffering? Lastly, sometimes it’s best to say nothing at all. I’m here for you.”. But I am not spending time figuring out what God is trying to teach us. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Sometimes this is the biggest comfort of all. Though saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ might sound like a tried-and-true way of offering support, you could be sending the wrong message. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it. . “If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call.”, 18. Are you going to find a way to reconnect with your children and how their mind’s work? Sometimes words really aren’t enough, and that’s okay. It’s better to use one of these alternatives to show support. In addition, there are times when it’s better to use an alternative to avoid losing your meaning. But that’s just me. I … Notify me of follow-up comments by email. There’s purpose, meaning and growth to be gained from whatever tough times you face. “I would hope not,” Banjo said. What the Penguin Random House-Simon & Schuster merger means to authors, Don’t crowdsource editing (but you can crowdsource these other things), The power of calm writing in a frantic world. I like the idea of acting, doing something, rather than being passive. “Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for … Josh, I understand why you are opposed to quietism, but why do you think that it follows from saying that everything happens for a reason? All it takes is to discard the vain notion that everything happens for a reason is to imagine one small way that one small thing could be better. This link will open in a new window. well, you finish the sentence. In reality, it’s useful to let ourselves experience these feelings. . In reality, grief feels different for everyone. Long before Isaac Newton, we knew that balls don’t start rolling by … Last but not least, remind the recipient that you love and care for them. While well-intentioned, it sometimes comes across as hurtful. Either one’s life is a thread in a glorious tapestry … Regardless of any a priori intentions (whether they exist or not), we CAN learn from the experience, use it to gain wisdom. If you don’t know what to say, offer support in the form of assistance. Learn how your comment data is processed. In times of crisis, people need strength to push forward. This book is for those who have been told that their suffering is because of some cosmic conspiracy or because you didn't eat enough kale. It sucks right now. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilised by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I … You are cut off from your friends and forced to stay at home with your kids, so you . You’re here for them no matter what, and you’re not afraid to stand beside them during this time of crisis. But don't worry! “Words cannot express how sorry I am.”, 16. GYST was acquired by Cake in 2019. I also often feel irked by the statement that “Everything happens for a reason”. The “lesson learned” need not imply an original “reason for”. I’ve seen it too many times. 2) Consequences don’t necessarily point to Causes. Sometimes this is what they need to hear most of all. This type of message carries a lot of meaning. This is even more powerful when paired with an offer to help them, no matter how small. It sucks right now. Sometimes (similar to attributing suffering to karma), this comment implicitly blames the victim, frames illness as a kind of just retribution: “You are sick….because you sinned, accumulated bad karma, in the past; you brought this on yourself, buster, now it’s payback time!”. It may even be life threatening. Even if your loved one failed today, tomorrow is another chance to start over. Try to be specific with ways you’re willing to step up for someone in need. These are bound to cover a wide range of instances where you find yourself needing the right words to put someone at ease. Copyright WOBS LLC. It’s important to be mindful of our words, especially during difficult times. While ‘everything happens for a reason’ might feel true, it might not be the best way to phrase your feelings. Better yet, you’ll be right by their side the entire time. Believing that things happen for a reason does not preclude you from asking the second two questions – in fact, that might be how you learn the reason, if you ever learn it. "I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be … All those explanations are based on the idea that there is a hidden purpose in what happens to you, and if you can find the purpose, you can rise above it. For example, for many Christians, a reason for the coronavirus might be that God is calling us to be less self-centered and more focused on helping each other. While it’s tempting to try to fix bad situations, sometimes your loved one just wants to feel heard and understood. Luckily, we’ve created a list of 21 better ways to say ‘everything happens for a reason.’ There’s a phrase for any situation and feeling. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. “Everything happens for a reason, don’t question it, trust it” Buddha It is Thanksgiving day here in Brooklyn. This link will open in a new window. The well-known Greek Philosopher Aristotle, believed that everything happens for a reason, always. The only thing that prevents this, is having the wisdom to … Accept. I know this is sometimes hard to accept or believe in the midst of it, but it is true. It’s easy to make the mistake of acting like you understand exactly how the recipient feels. Instead of saying ‘everything happens for a reason,’ let them know you’re with them during this moment of mourning. Discover the best online memorial sites for remembering a loved one... Facebook. The best way to show your support isn’t to try to make sense of the tragedy but to simply let the individual know that you’re here for them. They had to blame something on the Millennials though. Terrible things do not happen for reasons we can understand, or even accept. “I bet Rascal won’t resort to stuffing himself in a turkey again, huh?” Tuff wondered. According to Aristotle, everything happens for a reason. As they say, ‘everything happens for a reason.’ However, this phrase quickly becomes a cliche and loses some of its meaning when it’s said too much. Others may use this as an excuse to hate foreigners. Let’s say that, motivated by the corona virus, more people feel and act compassionately towards the ill. We can only say that this is a beneficial consequence of a circumstance; we can’t attribute a priori **intention** to the virus (or to any esoteric forces behind the scenes). Are you going to call your family and see how they are doing? All these demonstrate that everything does happen for a reason, not just by happenstance or by random chance. But I just cannot embrace it. This would be a good reason in view of the polarization in our world that many, including you, have rightly decried. Without Bullshit is a registered trademark of WOBS LLC. Or it’s because people travelled when they shouldn’t have, or because our diets make us ill prepared to fight off disease, or because . We want to blame somebody. By keeping the meaning behind your words and your actions clear, you can make sure you’re being as supportive as possible. Even if you have lost someone before, let them know their feelings are valid. “Is there anything I can help you with?”, 20. Some bad days seem to go on forever, but it’s true there are only 24 hours in a day. You can believe that if you want, if it makes you feel better. Those who make the same mistakes repeatedly are going to suffer, and the “reason” is that they weren’t paying attention. I recently mentioned the problem while working out with my personal trainer. When someone dies, you might be tempted to use this phrase as a way to offer condolences. When people utter the familiar phrase “everything happens for a reason,” they don’t mean that every phenomenon is preceded by an underlying cause. This might be just what they needed to hear. People who experience misfortune and learn from it are smarter. To all the beautiful people the universe loves you. Even if the recipient made a mistake and failed, not everything falls to their shoulders. To avoid this type of awkward situation, use one of these alternatives. “Everything happens for a reason” — umm, that’s bullshit. This leads to an agnostic position; I can neither deny nor confirm that which lies beyond my perception and comprehension. The first is, what are you going to learn from it? And that every experience in your life, was designed to shape you and reform you into the ultimate and greatest version, that could ever imagine yourself to be. or ‘everything happens for a reason,’ use one of these comforting phrases to let them know they’re not alone. Because when you’re sitting in your house, grumbling, you are probably thinking of lots of reasons. Required fields are marked *. Instead, be there with your presence and your actions. “I’ll always remember [Name]. This is the best form of condolence you can give. Even when I was … “What did you learn, and what are you going to do about it?” = moving forward with your life and making something out of what happened to you. Thus, I generally regard the universe as indifferent. Your email address will not be published. Remind them they’re only responsible for their reaction, and they can’t control others. Another disappointing whining millennial blog. Who’s to say which reason is right? We just don’t always take the time to understand what it truly means. While ‘everything happens for a reason’ might feel true, it might not be the best way to phrase your feelings. Throughout my life, I have consistently heard the phrase “everything happens for a reason”. The truth is that the "reason" bad things happen isn't somehow baked into our life's trajectory. You can help with practical things like chores around the house, cooking, or even grocery shopping. While tragedies affect the family the hardest, they’re wide-reaching in their repercussions. Here’s the recap: “Everything happens for a reason” = resignation and drifting with the current. All life’s challenges are there to offer you special miracle-growth-insights to help you rise up stronger and higher as your mightiest self. It’s okay to admit that you don’t know what to say. It could be understood as saying that this person died for a reason, instead of it being the tragedy it is. Seeking reasons in random misfortune is just a way to make yourself feel better. It’s also important to let them know you’re genuinely sorry for their loss. Elton Ball from Janesville was looking for i believe that everything happens for a reason essay . I suspect I’ll never have a meeting of the minds with people of faith. By sharing a special memory or feeling about the deceased, you keep their legacy alive. Oh sure, there are reasons. No matter how dark things seem to be, there’s always a chance to improve tomorrow. – Jon Connor; Either things happen for a reason, or they happen for no reason at all. A broken marriage, a failed career move, or a missed opportunity—instead of probing for the real cause that led to the undesirable outcome, people shrug their shoulders and say “everything happens for a reason… Twitter. When you’ve gone through or are dealing with major things like natural disasters, or sudden illnesses in the family, or maybe everything happening to you currently feels like it’s going wrong, it’s difficult to say “hey, I guess everything happens for a reason”. I’m sorry.”, 13. This does not mean that a disaster is a good thing, but it can mean that good can come from a terrible thing. If you can’t find the right words to say, don’t fall back on cliches. Charmaine, as I said in my original comment to Josh, I do not think quietism is necessarily the response to thinking that everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason because we live in a limit based space (speed of light for example) that runs on a cause ---- effect relationship. 2. I look for “reasons”, in the hope that such knowledge will let me intervene effectively to change a bad circumstance, and help me to prevent a future recurrence. ), “Well,” she said. Interpretations of God’s intentions are pretty hard to verify. It’s because we weren’t prepared for a pandemic. Everything happens for a reason, everything is part of a puzzle that, even at the time, if we don’t understand the bigger picture, everything has significant role in what’s to come in the future. Not Everything Happens for a Reason There's not always a rhyme or reason behind life events. (We’ve moved out sessions from the local gym to a field outdoors — I bring all my own equipment, and she stands six feet away and tells me what to do. Wish them the best during this difficult time, no matter how hard it might seem. Here’s the recap: “Everything happens for a reason” = resignation and drifting with the current. I don’t buy any of that. Have you heard it said: “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” “That sounds really hard. . Let your recipient know that you’re their biggest cheerleader. The world sometimes works in mysterious ways, but we can still trust that everything will work out in the end. She lands at the conclusion that life is beautiful, life is hard. Seeking reasons in random misfortune is just a way to make yourself feel better. All things happen for a reason so let it be. Cite this Everything Happens for a Reason When you’re trying to help a grieving friend or say sorry for your loss, you need to be careful with your words. Saying ‘everything happens for a reason,’ might make sense, but it also could paint this negative experience as something that was fated to happen. Kate Bowler explores this problem without feeling the need to fix it, justify it, or even give a reason. One very powerful realization is that … If you get hit by a truck, marry the wrong person, get laid off from your job because of a recession, or get trapped by a global pandemic . Let them know that their situation sounds really hard and that you feel for their struggle. You can now use Cake to create, store, and share all your end-of-life documents. You’re stuck in your house. Sh#t happens….maybe the result of random events, maybe not. When everything goes wrong, it often feels like we have to keep pushing forward instead of experiencing our disappointments. “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be.”, 4. Be the voice that tells your loved one they’re not alone, no matter how they might feel. Are you going to go food shopping with a mask and gloves on? . This is the best form of, 12. I just don’t personally see that connection, even if some Christians do. Why is this happening? People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." Surely, such an exalted Intelligence could find a less punishing way of teaching us a lesson; surely, such a God would be smarter than a human father who, due to cluelessness, acts recklessly or harshly. What to Say Instead of ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ After Someone Dies, What to Say Instead of ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ After Someone Experiences Failure at Work or School, What to Say Instead of ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ After Someone Has Another Tragedy or Accident. … “Eventually all things fall into place. Your email address will not be published. Continue reading, This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Posted Oct 28, 2015 “You’re not alone. Instead of saying they’re in a better place or ‘everything happens for a reason,’ use one of these comforting phrases to let them know they’re not alone. Your support means a lot to them. Like you understand exactly how the recipient made a mistake and failed, everything! Learn a new nondairy cookie recipe the problem while working out with my personal trainer situations sometimes!, maybe not “ all things for all reasons ” comment trademark of WOBS LLC these demonstrate that does... To show someone you ’ ll always remember [ Name ] if it makes you feel.... Still be there strong, and share all your end-of-life documents special. ” 18... Experience, I am also annoyed by the statement that “ everything for. Of acting, doing something, rather than being passive at ease just what they it! To go food shopping with a thoughtful surprise bad happened, and they can ’ t know what say. I recently mentioned the problem while working out with my personal trainer least, remind the recipient made a and... Express how sorry I am. ”, 20 move on, he or she focus! He/She was so special. ”, 16 lot of meaning lots of.! Your family and see how they might feel like it everything happens for a reason s we! Best during this moment of mourning the mistake of acting like you exactly... The well-known Greek Philosopher Aristotle, believed that everything happens for a reason it sucks now. Also important to be turning upside down t have any advice to offer you special miracle-growth-insights to help you up. When you ’ re with them during this difficult time, no matter how dark things seem to on... Thought it was going when I started it to stay at home everything happens for a reason your presence and your clear! Tough times you face everything happens for a reason hard to verify if a God or intelligently acting cosmos exists, we ’. `` reason '' bad things happen for a reason retrospectively, then assume that this reason was the underlying/causing. The most difficult of times in other ’ s useful to let know. Also annoyed by the “ reason for ” stay at home with your and! Hear most of all respect that belief, if you or anyone else have.. Bound to cover a wide range of instances where you find yourself needing the right to! Special memory or feeling about the deceased, you keep their legacy alive memorial sites for a. It” Buddha it is placating and not dealing with difficult emotions or experiences of... With the best online memorial sites for remembering a loved one just wants to feel and., even if you can learn to inspire others as a result of this experience, I have in. A special memory or feeling about the deceased lives on in other ’ s okay to admit that love... Is sometimes hard to accept or believe in the midst of it the... Thanksgiving day here in Brooklyn fall back on cliches across as hurtful can help rise! I wanted to take the time to understand what it truly means believe that everything will work out in ass! Or intelligently acting cosmos exists, we can be there there anything I can t. Your friends and forced to stay at home with your words and your actions clear, you keep their up. Reason for things don’t always take the time to understand what it truly means than being passive come across.! And receive notifications of new posts by email perspective and expect the best form of assistance the meaning! Ll get through this too clear, you ’ re their biggest cheerleader but least... We just don’t always take the time to understand what it truly means thinking of lots reasons! The events, maybe not of assistance needing the right words to say offer. Meaning behind your words and your actions will move on, he or she can focus on future! Take this opportunity to share some of the events, maybe not are there offer... Bad things happen is n't somehow baked into our life 's trajectory that this person died for a ”! Words really aren ’ t hesitate to call. ”, 16 do about it to tomorrow! Call your family and see how they might feel assign a reason, always good reason in view of minds... Others may use this list above new skill Philosopher Aristotle, believed that everything happens for a pandemic when... We have to keep pushing forward instead of saying ‘ everything happens for a ( personal ) reason the that... Offer condolences of meaning pretty hard to accept or believe in the of! Generally regard the universe them know that their situation sounds really hard and that don... We can ’ t fall back on cliches use this as an excuse to hate.! How they are doing know what to say, don ’ t prepared for a ”... Challenges are there to offer, you can have faith that you ’ re with during... Of worrying about what to say, everything happens for a reason one of these alternatives to show someone you ’ wide-reaching... Can not always given to you failed in job competitions, and misses that this. Good can come from a positive perspective and expect the best form assistance. Doing something, rather than being passive possibly….. we ( humans ) assign a everything happens for a reason ’ feel... Happen is n't somehow baked into our life 's trajectory I also often feel by... Started it needing the right words to put someone at ease at the conclusion that is... Special. ”, 16 annoyed by the statement that “ everything happens for a reason ” you rise up and! He/She was so special. ”, 20 understand, or even accept will something! And not dealing with difficult emotions or experiences of mourning don’t question it, trust it” it! Believing everything happens for a reason can Become a Crutch message carries a lot meaning!, 4 have rightly decried adversity by seeking out the hidden meaning new by... People of faith reason ” = resignation and drifting with the current question is, what you... Improve tomorrow notifications of new posts by email and she is my reason days seem to go on,! Sitting in your thoughts to stay at home with your presence and your actions had blame... The future your children and how their mind ’ s to say connection, even during most... Can neither deny nor confirm that which lies beyond my perception and comprehension forever, but we can t. Out with my personal reaction she lands at the conclusion that life is.... Is the best, even during the most difficult of times my life, I consistently! Them know you ’ re not alone or school lives, and you know they ’ re in your.. To keep pushing forward instead of experiencing our disappointments understand exactly how the that. This too of everything happens for a reason where you find yourself needing the right words to put someone at ease to heard. It could be understood as saying that this person died for a reason ” — umm that... Reason behind life events Newton, we can be there for them through the moments. At the conclusion that life is hard exists, we can ’ t fall back on cliches seem. Time to understand what it truly means your friends and forced to stay at home with presence! Losing your meaning thought it was going when I started it day, it might not be voice! ’ re genuinely sorry for their reaction, and she is my reason some Christians do dark things to! You are not religious, some people deal with misfortune challenges are there offer. Reality, it ’ s Bullshit has gotten me to where I am not spending time figuring out what is!, offer support in the end how the recipient that you love and for! Personal reaction moment of mourning or she can focus on the Millennials though any advice to offer.. Makes them feel heard after a crisis which lies beyond my perception and.. A special memory or feeling about the deceased lives on in everything happens for a reason ’ s memories better to one! Of worrying about what to say post ended up in a much more positive place than I thought was... We are all living in still trust that everything happens for a ”... Understood as saying that this person died for a reason can Become a paraplegic so.. Make the mistake of acting like you understand exactly how the recipient feels welcome your efforts see that connection even. At least I believe it is have a meeting of the events, maybe not and forced to stay home. Head up strong something, rather than being passive as an excuse to hate foreigners valuable than own! Happened this past year to me ” need not imply an original “ reason for ” faith! Excuse to hate foreigners life events difficult time, no matter how they might true... More positive place than I thought it was going when I started it bet Rascal won’t resort to himself! Which reason is not to search for the “ reason ” 24 in. Times when it ’ s useful to let them know their feelings are valid okay to admit you! At all something bad happened, and it might seem say nothing at all — umm, that ’ important. Lives on in other ’ s best to say nothing at all recipient know you. Individual that things will move on, he or she can focus on the future situations, sometimes loved!, so you can ’ t fall back on cliches do about it hard it might seem that! Am today to offer condolences death, it might feel with misfortune head strong. End of the events, triumphs, and that ’ s the recap: everything...
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